Sharing

I don't like to share. That statement is me at my very core. I'm the oldest of my parents' four daughters, but I have always wanted to be an only child. I must admit though, I pretty much am. It's a long story that my mother would not welcome to be online. So, I don't like to share my folks and I definitely don't like to share my kids. I have to, especially since I didn't make them on my own and their dad still shows some interest...in his own way. So every year they get to spend 4 weeks of their summer with him, pretty much the month of July. It wasn't so bad at first, they still went to the same sitter and I could visit at lunch. Then he decided moving 5 hours away was a quality plan. So part-time parent turned into vacay-dad. I know they should be excited to see him, he's their dad...but grrrr! I'm the one doing 98.9% of the work, well not really, my sitter is a blessing and totally deserves a 45% shout-out. Anyway, they are literally my world and when they go...I'm lost.

I had all these thoughts in my head and wanted to put them down...turns out I started (with little effort) a blog 2 years ago. Good follow through! I should blame it on being a single mom...but that's bs. Being a single mom isn't that hard. Don't get me wrong, everyone loves a pat on the back, but being a single mom, for me anyway, is awesome!! Of course, this was not part of my plan when I got married and started to procreate, but this is how things worked out. I'm a better mom on my own! Being a woman of faith, I obeyed, being a woman of low self esteem, to my own detriment.

I don't like to share, what is most important to me. Which is a clear tell-tale sign when I opted to share my husband 4 years ago. Not in some weird, kinky, progressive way...but in the sense of 'I know he's having an affair but I don't care'. In my mind it was better than breaking up our family, in my heart it didn't matter. You can only kick your dog so many times before it runs away...well woof woof.

My boys will hopefully recognize all the happily married couples in their lives enough to respect what it means to be a husband.

Raising two boys on my own, it isn't easy...but raising kids in general isn't easy. What does it mean to do it alone...you get to make all the decisions, and all the mistakes. You get all the hugs and kisses, and all the tantrums and fighting. Can I run out to the store at night when they're fast asleep for a gallon of milk, no. Is that milk worth the hassle of having a "life boss", no way! Annnnd blah, blah, blah....marriage isn't supposed to be that way, a husband isn't a life boos. Ha, that is my experience and all I have to pull from.

Oh Bernard

Anyone who knows me, knows the awesomeness of The Nard. He never ceases to amaze me!! He is so sweet sometimes it just melts my heart!! We went to a Lenten kids' program on Wednesday this week and the topic is 7 deadly sins. They are using Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) to show the children examples of these sins. We started off with Augustus and tied gluttony and greed together. We watched a few scenes and then discussed greed, then we made a pig plate (most of them were too young to really get gluttony). Each person had to write something they were greedy about and put it on their pig to float down the "chocolate river". B wisely chose his "stuff"...he was honest about it and admitted he doesn't like to share. Nard was honest as well...but in his overly intelligent and super sweet way! He wrote down "Mom"...he is greedy about me and he doesn't want to share me. Ugh....melt my heart with your high-pitched voice!!

I must remind myself to not let him wrap me around his finger, with the ability to be completely opposite of everything that makes me "crazy mom"...because it's really not fair to B. He's a sweetheart and I adore him the same, but he does know how to push my buttons. He's very emotional and smart...which are a truly scary combo.

I love my job

I work with roofers, I work for roofers, I love roofers...but everywhere I go it smells like wintergreen chewing tobacco. Seriously!! How can something be super gross and kinda sexy?? I've tried it and understand the appeal, but I don't do it because (1) I don't want cancer and (2) no woman looks sexy with cud in her mouth. I'm a midwestern farmer's daughter and love a hard-working country man, but some of these habits are awful. Your crooked, long-cut smile turns me on, but the spit cup on the table makes me ill. Thank goodnss for pouches!!!!

Just getting started

I'm pretty new to blogging. While I understand it and stalk plenty of bloggers, I've never really done one of my own. For the most part, this is for me. I have a decent memory but would love to have a way to remember everything when I'm super old and can't.

B and the Nard are my whole world and will be the biggest part of anything I have to say. It's been a rough couple of years...well to be honest, it's been a rough "longer than that". I'm a divorcee (yeah that's my version of making it sound French). I have been divorced a year and a half and seperated an additional year to that. I was married for almost 10 years and we met in junior high....awwww (ppplllttt). We get along, but I can't stand him. He's a selfish douche lord!!! But enough about that...I try to let others form their own opinions.

So every other weekend, I'm a single lady...yep now that song is in my head and yours. I don't do much, school work and watch tv, sometimes a little dancing with friends. At 31, it is probably time to stop that...but since I look 22...I can still pull it off. I totally suck at relationships because I start off assuming it won't work out for some reason. So...as for getting started, this is it. I think the rest will come with time.